Tweed and Tinsel

Title: Perfectly Safe
Fandom: H2G2
Character/s: The whole sort of general mishmash. Arthur/Fenchurch later on, and eventually Random/Mown for the crack pairing lulz.
Word Count (this chapter): 540
Rating: Whatever the film was rated. PG, was it? Something like that.
Summary: Earth has been demolished, but there are still a few kinks to be worked out.
Notes: Follows all continuities, and none of them at the same time (much like the series itself). On the whole, it ignores And Another Thing..., though that did provide a few good gags that I’ve thrown into a combine harvester and recycled into sort of flat-pack bits and pieces. Directly follows the events of Mostly Harmless.

Several passages have been shamelessly copied from a previous story I wrote (Hitchhiking, which was posted under a different name), because they sounded good and they worked in the context of this one. So, if bits seem familiar, it’s entirely possible that there’s a reason for it. Will be posting this at a rate of one chapter per week, to avoid spamming everybody. Since this follows Adams' narrative style as much as possible, I do apologise in advance for the smaller chapters.

Read all in one go on AO3

( Perfectly Safe )

Title: Hitchhiking
Fandom: Hot Fuzz/Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy/Doctor Who
Character/s:Hot Fuzz: Nicholas, Walker, Saxon; H2G2: Heart of Gold crew; Doctor Who: Nine, Rose
Word Count (chapter/total): 400
Rating: PG
Summary/Warnings: Green, bug-eyed monsters demolish the Earth to make way for a hyperspace express route. At least, that's what the people of Earth are told.

This was meant to be about the Daleks. I totally and completely failed at that.

( Hitchhiking )

Title: Hitchhiking
Fandom: Hot Fuzz/Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy/Doctor Who
Character/s:Hot Fuzz: Nicholas, Walker, Saxon; H2G2: Heart of Gold crew; Doctor Who: Nine, Rose
Word Count (chapter/total): 2,500
Rating: PG
Summary/Warnings: Green, bug-eyed monsters demolish the Earth to make way for a hyperspace express route. At least, that's what the people of Earth are told.

In which Arthur goes and makes an idiot of himself; something he's probably quite used to by now. Also, the Doctor tries to figure out just what the hell is going on.

( Hitchhiking )

Title: Hitchhiking
Fandom: Hot Fuzz/Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy/Doctor Who
Character/s:Hot Fuzz: Nicholas, Walker, Saxon; H2G2: Heart of Gold crew; Doctor Who: Nine, Rose
Word Count (chapter/total): 1,900
Rating: PG
Summary/Warnings: Green, bug-eyed monsters demolish the Earth to make way for a hyperspace express route. At least, that's what the people of Earth are told.

I'm still not entirely sure what possessed me to start this beat of a fic. It has to be one of the most crackiest crossovers ever, and really, Nicholas Angel is the last person that needs to be travelling time and space. This was posted once before, but has been heavily edited and revised. I've taken out a lot of the text that introduces the Hitchhiker's Guide fandom, because it felt unnecessary.

SPOILERS FOR: Hot Fuzz, Mostly Harmless, Doctor Who: The Long Game, and sort of ties in with Bad Wolf, and the Parting of the Ways. The ending for this was originally a bit different, but it wound up mirroring Stolen Earth on an uncanny scale (mind you, I've been working on this fic for over a year, trying to get a lot of the science right), and I didn't like the similarities, so it's been changed.

As far as the Heart of Gold crew goes, I clearly had Martin Freeman in mind for Arthur, but the rest could go either way. Trillian is British, though. I never did fancy her as an American.

( Hitchhiking )