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tweedandtinsel2010-12-28 03:20 am
oxfordtweed) wrote in tweedandtinsel2010-12-28 03:20 am
Text Message Transcripts, vol 3
Fandom: Sherlock
Character/s: Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes
Word Count: 450
Rating: G
Summary: Sherlock needs milk, and John is at his job.
Notes/Warnings: Oh, god. My main projects are seriously dragging me through the mud, so I needed to do something a bit more upbeat. So, here. Have some more text messages. These things are suitably ridiculous.
Out of milk. Send some. Urgent.
SH
I am not your milk man. You can fetch your own milk.
Mycroft
Busy.
SH
So am I.
Mycroft
Send Persephone around with some, then. She never seems to do anything.
SH
And some nicotine patches. Out of those, as well.
SH
You wouldn’t run out so quickly if you only wore one at a time, you know.
Mycroft
You’re not my boss.
SH
ETA on milk and patches?
SH
When you decide to go to the shop.
Mycroft
Can’t. Busy. Already told you that. And John is at his job, which is thoroughly inconvenient in every way.
SH
Indeed. Otherwise, I might actually be getting some work of my own done right now.
Mycroft
The government can look after itself for 20 minutes. Need milk. Urgent.
SH
Dear lord, didn’t Mummy ever teach you manners?
Mycroft.
Need milk. Urgent. Please.
SH
Sorry, I’m busy.
Mycroft
You are not. You’re at your ridiculous club, which I know is just where all your secret service minions have lunch. Not busy. Perfectly capable of fetching milk, or having minion fetch milk.
SH
All this time spent trying to get someone else to fetch you milk, you could have gone to the shop and back twice by now.
Mycroft
You’re supposed to be helping me.
SH
Do you even know how to pay your phone bill?
Mycroft
That’s what John’s for.
SH
Besides. You wouldn’t cut my service, because then you’d lose the ability to use my phone to spy on me.
SH
The notions you have. Sherlock, really. I do no such thing.
Mycroft
You are a lying liar who lies. Stop it right now.
SH
When is your minion getting here?
SH
She isn’t. And I wish you wouldn’t call her that.
Mycroft
Oh, right. I forgot. You’re sleeping with that one. Dull. Disgusting. Boring.
SH
You and I both know that isn’t true.
Mycroft
Wrong!
SH
You really are being rather childish right now.
Mycroft
Still not my boss.
SH
Still being childish.
Mycroft
Milk!
SH
No.
Mycroft
Now who’s being childish?
SH
Still you.
Mycroft
You promised.
SH
A promise which involved making sure you stayed safe and out of trouble. Milk has nothing to do with either of those.
Mycroft
Milk is required to stave off boredom.
SH
If that’s meant to be a joke, it isn’t funny.
Mycroft
Milk.
SH
Get it yourself.
Mycroft
Can’t. Busy. Already told you.
SH
You’re either busy, or your bored. Which is it?
Mycroft
Busy being bored.
SH
You are not funny.
Mycroft
Not trying to be. Need milk. Urgent.
SH
ETA: 15 minutes.
Mycroft
Good.
SH
You’re very welcome.
Mycroft
A/N: Persephone is Sherlock’s name for Anthea. In my headcanon, she gives everybody a different name to call her by, so that she knows who she’s talking to.
Character/s: Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes
Word Count: 450
Rating: G
Summary: Sherlock needs milk, and John is at his job.
Notes/Warnings: Oh, god. My main projects are seriously dragging me through the mud, so I needed to do something a bit more upbeat. So, here. Have some more text messages. These things are suitably ridiculous.
Out of milk. Send some. Urgent.
SH
I am not your milk man. You can fetch your own milk.
Mycroft
Busy.
SH
So am I.
Mycroft
Send Persephone around with some, then. She never seems to do anything.
SH
And some nicotine patches. Out of those, as well.
SH
You wouldn’t run out so quickly if you only wore one at a time, you know.
Mycroft
You’re not my boss.
SH
ETA on milk and patches?
SH
When you decide to go to the shop.
Mycroft
Can’t. Busy. Already told you that. And John is at his job, which is thoroughly inconvenient in every way.
SH
Indeed. Otherwise, I might actually be getting some work of my own done right now.
Mycroft
The government can look after itself for 20 minutes. Need milk. Urgent.
SH
Dear lord, didn’t Mummy ever teach you manners?
Mycroft.
Need milk. Urgent. Please.
SH
Sorry, I’m busy.
Mycroft
You are not. You’re at your ridiculous club, which I know is just where all your secret service minions have lunch. Not busy. Perfectly capable of fetching milk, or having minion fetch milk.
SH
All this time spent trying to get someone else to fetch you milk, you could have gone to the shop and back twice by now.
Mycroft
You’re supposed to be helping me.
SH
Do you even know how to pay your phone bill?
Mycroft
That’s what John’s for.
SH
Besides. You wouldn’t cut my service, because then you’d lose the ability to use my phone to spy on me.
SH
The notions you have. Sherlock, really. I do no such thing.
Mycroft
You are a lying liar who lies. Stop it right now.
SH
When is your minion getting here?
SH
She isn’t. And I wish you wouldn’t call her that.
Mycroft
Oh, right. I forgot. You’re sleeping with that one. Dull. Disgusting. Boring.
SH
You and I both know that isn’t true.
Mycroft
Wrong!
SH
You really are being rather childish right now.
Mycroft
Still not my boss.
SH
Still being childish.
Mycroft
Milk!
SH
No.
Mycroft
Now who’s being childish?
SH
Still you.
Mycroft
You promised.
SH
A promise which involved making sure you stayed safe and out of trouble. Milk has nothing to do with either of those.
Mycroft
Milk is required to stave off boredom.
SH
If that’s meant to be a joke, it isn’t funny.
Mycroft
Milk.
SH
Get it yourself.
Mycroft
Can’t. Busy. Already told you.
SH
You’re either busy, or your bored. Which is it?
Mycroft
Busy being bored.
SH
You are not funny.
Mycroft
Not trying to be. Need milk. Urgent.
SH
ETA: 15 minutes.
Mycroft
Good.
SH
You’re very welcome.
Mycroft
A/N: Persephone is Sherlock’s name for Anthea. In my headcanon, she gives everybody a different name to call her by, so that she knows who she’s talking to.
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