Text Message Transcripts between Mycroft and Sherlock Holmes, vol 6

[oxfordtweed]

Fandom: Sherlock
Character/s: Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock Holmes
Word Count: 560
Rating: G
Summary: Sherlock is bored. Bad news for Mycroft
Notes/Warnings: More silliness. No real warnings for anything.



Bored.
SH

Bored.
SH

I am bored and you are boring.
SH

BORED!
SH

Are you quite finished?
Mycroft

No. I’m bored, Mycroft.
SH

I’m busy. I can’t be expected to drop everything I’m doing and arrange something to entertain you.
Mycroft

I
SH

Am
SH

Bored.
SH

Would you stop that?
Mycroft

No.
SH

I’m bored. Fix it.
SH

I will not. Sherlock, I’m busy. I do actually have a job, you know.
Mycroft

It’s not a job. It’s meddling. No one actually asked you to do what you do. You just stepped in one day and took over. Probably killed the last person who was secretly pulling all the strings.
SH

Don’t be absurd.
Mycroft

It’s not absurd if it’s true.
SH

Stop being boring!
SH

I know you haven’t turned off your phone. Stop pretending that you have.
SH

What do you want, Sherlock?
Mycroft

BORED
SH

That was not an answer to the question that I asked, unless you were implying that what you want is to be bored.
Mycroft

You know perfectly well that’s not what I meant.
SH

Stop ignoring me!
SH

Good god. Are you six years old? I cannot drop everything that I’m doing just to entertain you.
Mycroft

You’re not doing anything important. Let the elections actually run their own course for a change. There’s no point to them if you’re going to just change the results anyway.
SH

Mycroft!
SH

This is your last warning, Sherlock. You need to stop this behaviour right now.
Mycroft

BORED!
SH

And you call me childish. Was this to entertain you, or me? Because this is not funny.
SH

I think I disagree. It’s quite funny indeed.
Mycroft

Your sniffer dogs won’t find anything. Call them off.
SH

Mycroft, this isn’t fair. This is against the rules. You agreed!
SH

Are you referring to the rules you broke by harassing me for the last hour?
Mycroft

That was different. I was bored. You’re just being a prat.
SH

Oh, yes. Of course. The rules change according to how bored you are. How silly of me to have forgotten.
Mycroft

Glad to see we’re both on the same page for once.
SH

Now call off your sniffer dogs!
SH

Remind me to look up the legality of keeping a dissected human brain in your freezer.
Mycroft

It’s for a case!
SH

Well, that’s good to know. I suppose.
Mycroft

Oh, please. If I were really doing something like that, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to keep trophies.
SH

I’m sure Mummy will be pleased to know this.
Mycroft

Leave her out of this.
SH

I don’t suppose you’re bored now?
Mycroft

No, you’ll be pleased to know that I’m too busy hating you right now to be bored.
SH

OH THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. New violin bow. Now.
SH

?
Mycroft

Someone on your damn fake drugs bust snapped my bow. You owe me a new one, since you arranged the whole thing to begin with.
SH

And don’t you dare say it was for my benefit.
SH

Would you rather I lie to you instead?
Mycroft

I’d rather you drop dead.
SH

But not before you replace my bow.
SH

I’m going to pretend that you’ve honoured my request to cease existing, rather than just ignoring me.
SH

Whatever makes you happy.
Mycroft

Shut up.
SH

Comments

[unduneljay.livejournal.com]

Fabulous and hilarious.

[oxfordtweed]

Thanks! :D

[caporai.livejournal.com]

hahaha XD sherlock is such a child!

[oxfordtweed]

Almost makes you feel sorry for Mycroft, doesn't it? XD

[caporai.livejournal.com]

Almost!!! XD

[eightnoon.livejournal.com]

Haha! Oh Mycroft, how do you manage?

[oxfordtweed]

Very carefully.

Thanks for reading! :D

[lastwordy-mcgee.livejournal.com]

First, I love this with extra love, and a side of love sauce. Second, I bet Sherlock would be really good at Calvinball.

[oxfordtweed]

Sherlock probably would insist that he invented Calvinball. XD

[lastwordy-mcgee.livejournal.com]

God I wish I was a funnier writer. For now I have a crack bunny idea regarding Sherlock and his childhood friend, a stuffed bear named Camus. Or possibly Kafka.

[oxfordtweed]

Dear lord, I may have to draw this as a comic when I get home tomorrow.

[lastwordy-mcgee.livejournal.com]

I'm leaning toward the existentialists, obviously. "...existential obstacles and distractions including despair, angst, absurdity, alienation, and boredom."

That is Sherlock all over.

[oxfordtweed]

I am designing the characters as we speak. Type. Whatever. XD

[lastwordy-mcgee.livejournal.com]

I love this idea so much I might need to run away to Maui with it. Oh god they can have a tea party that is really an existential thought summit. ::head explodes::

[bugeyedmonster.livejournal.com]

If Sherlock is Calvin, would that make John Susie?

Sorry just had a wild image of John trying to make Sherlock behave for a tea party.

[61803.livejournal.com]

WHEN CAN WE EXPECT IT BECAUSE I THINK I NEED THIS LIKE BREATHING

[oxfordtweed]

Tomorrow, probably. I'm travelling right now, and have hijacked someone else's laptop for as long as I can get away with it.

[http://users.livejournal.com/sulla_/]

Am I the only one who sympathises with Sherlock? Yes he's a brat, but I wouldn't think having the police sicced on you is a lot of fun! And how dare those clod-footed ingrates snap his bow! Poor Sherlock! *pats him*

(damn, I keep writing Sherlcock and having to go back and fix it)

[oxfordtweed]

Yes. :P

No, actually, I think they were both being brats. That's what makes these fun. XD

[lawless523.livejournal.com]

This is so hilarious that my daughter asked what I was cackling about. :D

[oxfordtweed]

hee! Glad you liked it! XD

[61803.livejournal.com]

OH SHERLOCK. What would you do without Mycroft?

[oxfordtweed]

Honestly, my guess would be something to do with prison.

He has no idea what Mycroft does for him.

[61803.livejournal.com]

I'm sure he does, he just finds it boring.

[reah29.livejournal.com]

I love these! They are freakn' hysterical!

[oxfordtweed]

Thanks! :D

[fanbot.livejournal.com]

Icon love!
He's a perfectly safe penguin.

[fanbot.livejournal.com]

Awesome!

[oxfordtweed]

Thanks! :D

[maypanic.livejournal.com]

Hee!
I was feeling very sorry for poor Mycroft dealing with baby brother who never matured past the age of 6, right up until I think I disagree. It’s quite funny indeed. and I pictured his evil little smirk. I'm quite certain he enjoys being so very useful. Aw, they love each other really. Deep down.

Really, really, really deep down.

[oxfordtweed]

Mycroft's evil little smirk is ♥.

Thanks for reading! :D

[bugeyedmonster.livejournal.com]

LOL! Next time Sherlock should really think about complaining he's bored. Though I doubt the sniffer dogs would make that much of an impression.

And of course Mycroft would arrange a drug raid to entertain his little brother. I'm sure Sherlock wasn't bored anymore! LOL!

[oxfordtweed]

haha, yeah. Entertain, distract. Same thing, right? XD

[lurker-of-note.livejournal.com]

i can never get enough of these text fics *still loving it*

[koriathain.livejournal.com]

I really loved this, all these text fics are brilliant!

[texan-elf.livejournal.com]

Ah, sibling love. *giggles*

[moony-mistress.livejournal.com]

Oh no not the bow! D:
Heee, this is great, as always. <333

[oxfordtweed]

Thanks! :D

[uptothewords.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA!

[oxfordtweed]

:D!

[pinigir.livejournal.com]

LOL! Love Sherlock's boredness and Mycroft's way of dealing with it. XD