Richard Book is Innocent (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oxfordtweed) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tweedandtinsel2010-12-04 04:54 pm
oxfordtweed) wrote in tweedandtinsel2010-12-04 04:54 pm
Screwdrivers
Title: Screwdrivers
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s:Danny/Nicholas, Andy
Word Count (chapter/total): 2,100
Rating: NC-17 for sofa sex
Summary/Warnings: Nicholas goes back to Danny's flat after a night of heavy drinking.
Warnings for dub-con
Nicholas Angel was not a heavy drinker. So, when he finally left the pub at closing time, nobody was surprised that he left in the company of Andy and Danny, an arm slung over either of their shoulders.
"Where's your car, Batterbomb?" Andy practically demanded, his arm wrapped tightly around the inspector's chest.
"At home," Danny answered simply. "Couldn't find my keys."
"Shit." This was a problem, because Nicholas had taken up residence in a cottage that was easily two miles from the pub. "He ain't sleeping on my sofa."
Danny hefted Nicholas up slightly, making sure he didn't suddenly collapse onto the cobblestone street. "You're such a prick," he said. "You just live round the corner."
"Don't care."
Danny sighed. "Come on, then."
Nicholas was conscious much in the same way that a football is black; that is to say, only bits of him were aware of what was going on, and even then, only just. "What?" he asked, seeming to direct it at nothing in particular.
"You're going home with me," Danny explained as the three of them stumbled and tripped down the street.
"Oh."
They carefully made their way to Danny's flat with minimal fuss, and Nicholas only managed to completely stumble over once, which both Andy and Danny saw as a triumph. After some careful negotiation of steps and wrestling with hidden keys, they dropped Nicholas onto the sofa, where he seemed to immediately fall asleep.
"Fucker's heavier than he looks," Andy panted, picking up a nearby magazine and fanning himself with it. A few moments later, he looked at the cover, jumped slightly, and threw the magazine back down. "Have fun with Inspector Arsewipe," he said as he quickly made his way to the door. "Told my dad I'd help him in the orchard tomorrow."
Danny grinned wickedly. "You still waiting for Andy's wife to officially leave him before finally moving in, then?"
A stray show flew through the air, missing Danny and bouncing off the back of the sofa. "Fuck off, bender," Andy hissed, before leaving the flat, making sure to slam the door behind him.
Shaking his head, Danny retrieved the shoe and returned it to its home before settling down on the sofa. He'd be damned if having someone passed out in his front room would keep him from finishing off his ritual of pub, get pissed, and come home and watch a DVD. "You're such a fucking lightweight," he said, moving Nicholas' legs out of his way.
"Piss off," Nicholas mumbled.
Danny looked at him for a moment. Maybe he wasn't as passed out as he seemed. Danny poked his stomach lightly, but the inspector didn't so much as flinch. Okay, maybe he was passed out. For a moment, he contemplated rolling Nicholas onto his side, or something, but he couldn't remember if that was what you did to drunk people in case they got sick, or if doing that to drunk people made them sick. He watched Nicholas for a few minutes, just to make sure he didn't get sick, and then pushed play on his remote, cueing up the DVD that he'd set before going to the pub. It was another Guy Ritchie project, and had Jason Statham in it, so his expectations were fairly high. It didn't take long for him to wish Nicholas wasn't pretending to be a college student, because there were a lot of questions he wanted to ask. Questions like, "where are all the explosions?" and, "where are the car chases?" and, "why the buggering hell do they keep playing chess and talking about head games?" At least there were gun fights. And a crazy hit man. But far too many geeky things like chess.
Nicholas probably played chess. Fucking geek.
Bored with the ten-minute chess scene, Danny turned his attention back to Nicholas, surprised to see his hand down the front of his own trousers. It wasn't the innocent kind, where he'd moved a bit in his sleep, and his fingers had slipped beneath the waist band. His entire hand had found its way down the front of his trousers. The bit of wrist movement going on was enough to cement the fact that Nicholas was up to something you generally don't do in public.
Danny turned his attention away. He contemplated waking Nicholas; letting him know what he was doing. But it wasn't like he was doing anything wrong. Everybody did it. Well, most everybody. Unless you're one of those religious fanatics, or asexual. Danny had always thought that one had to be a slug or something to be asexual, but the Andys seemed positive that Nicholas didn't even know about the concept of sex.
The hand down his trousers was doing a fantastic job of proving them wrong.
He was watching again. Stop it. Letting out a small whine, Danny bit his knuckle and forced himself to pay attention to Revolver. And so he paid attention.
For about six seconds.
Nicholas had broken his concentration with a low whine of his own, his hips twisting slightly as his belt impeded any progress he might have been trying to make. Biting his lip, Danny shifted his gaze back and forth between Nicholas and the television. It was clear what he was trying to do, and equally clear that his trousers were in the way.
There was nothing wrong with helping out. Just so long as he didn't actually touch.
Danny leant over and carefully unbuckled Nicholas' belt. Of course, the damn belt seemed to be just for decoration, as his trousers were probably tailored to begin with. Being very careful not to actually touch any part of Nicholas, Danny slowly unbuttoned and unzipped Nicholas' trousers, allowing the inspector better access.
"Mmm, Danny," Nicholas mumbled quietly.
Danny froze. Was he caught? It didn't seem so, as Nicholas just seemed interested in stroking himself from within his very boring boxer shorts. With Danny's hands still on the zip, Nicholas shifted slightly, and opened his eyes. Not all the way -- he hadn't been able to manage that since around ten o'clock -- but enough to be awake.
Definitely caught. Danny would be the disgrace of what was left of his family. This was it. Nicholas was going to pitch a fit. He braced himself for it.
"Hey," Nicholas said sleepily.
"Hi," was all Danny could say without choking, and he barely managed that.
Nicholas shifted slightly, still stroking himself. He looked down momentarily, before returning his still very innebriated gaze to Danny. "Little help?"
Danny licked his lips as he thought about the current situation. It didn't take him very long at all to reason that Nicholas was now awake -- most likely. Sometimes, you never could be completely sure -- he had asked for it. He moved his hand up Nicholas' exposed thigh, fingers trailing up his boxers. Nicholas smiled and rested his head back as he stroked himself, eventually letting Danny take over. The angle was awkward, and hampered wrist movement, so Danny decided to take a more direct approach, and stopped long enough to pull Nicholas' boxers off. Nicholas reached his arms above his head to grip the cushion, his hips arching into Danny's motions.
Confident that this was what Nicholas wanted, Danny moved himself to a position where he was on top of Nicholas, supporting his weight with his free hand. Nicholas arched himself into Danny's grip again, griding his hips against Danny's. Encouraged, Danny brought himself closer to Nicholas, locking him in a deep kiss, exploring the mouth he'd never even considered was a possibility that he'd be able to have. Nicholas responded unexpectantly, hands moving clumsily to pull off Danny's shirt.
Danny broke away, drawing a confused whine from Nicholas. "Roll over," he said, lightly slapping Nicholas' bare thigh. "C'mon."
Nicholas barely took a moment to consider the request. He did as told, rolling over to his hands and knees, letting Danny guide him to the arm of the sofa. Once getting Nicholas situated properly, Danny rushed to remove his own trousers, dropping them to the floor. He reached under the sofa for the small box he kept there for just these sorts of occasions, quickly fishing a condom from the collection, and tearing the foil with his teeth. Nicholas looked over his shoulder and laughed.
"You're not gonna get me pregnant," he pointed out.
Danny shook his head as he rolled the condom over his cock. "Doesn't matter," he said.
Nicholas shrugged awkwardly before resuming his original position, bent over the arm of the sofa. Danny put his fingers in his mouth before moving them in small circles around Nicholas' opening, slowly sliding first his middle finger in, and then his index. Neatly manicured nails dug into the upholstery as Danny fingered him with slow, steady movements. He ran his free hand down Nicholas' thigh, fingers brushing through fine gingery-blond hair. Bending over to lightly kiss the back of Nicholas' neck, Danny slowly guided himself in, starting with small pumping motions until he was completely sheathed. Nicholas cried out loudly, surprised when Danny cupped a hand over his mouth.
"Quiet," he laughed. "Neighbours upstairs are asleep."
Laughing, himself, Nicholas nodded and opted to instead bite down on the arm of the sofa as Danny began thrusting, bare skin rubbing and slamming together. He reached round, feeling blindly for Nicholas' cock and began stroking, out of time with his own thrusts. He'd never managed to be able to do it properly, but Nicholas didn't seem to mind. He bit down harder on the sofa arm, muffling his own cries in the fabric as his fingernails threathened to tear into it.
Danny had never expected this was something he'd be able to have, and now that he had it, he was amazed at how easily it had been given to him. He rolled his head back, biting his lip to keep from waking the neighbours, himself, breaking his rhythm to reposition himself on the sofa. His foot planted firmly on the ground, he continued his thrusts, as his hand stroked and rubbed Nicholas' cock, his thumb running over the tip, drawing more muffled cries from Nicholas.
"God, don't stop!" Nicholas pleaded, momentarily forgetting about the neighbours as he began rocking in time with Danny.
Danny bit his lip as he quickened his pace, stroking Nicholas even faster. The blond man beneath him began bucking uncontrollably, his face buried in the sofa. His noises became just that -- unintelligible noises that he simply could no longer hold in as he spilled his fluids over Danny's hand.
Making small noises of his own, Danny gripped Nicholas' hips with both hands, slamming harder into him. He gripped tightly, knowing how to keep hold without causing bruises, as he arched his back, climaxing hard, feeling light headed and dizzy in a way he didn't feel nearly often enough. Panting heavily, he separated from Nicholas, again rubbing his fingers down the exposed skin of his thigh. Nicholas still gripped the arm of the sofa, barely moving.
"You tired?" Danny asked, peeling the condom off and getting up to toss it in the small bin by the front door.
Nicholas, still not moved from his position, simply nodded into the arm of the sofa.
Danny smiled lightly as he bent to pick up the discarded clothes. "Come on," he said. "Bedroom's in back."
Nicholas nodded again, but still did not move. Danny helped him back into his trousers, and helped him back to the bedroom, setting him safely on the bed. He intended on giving him a pair of pyjamas, but by the time he turned back round from his wardrobe, Nicholas had already fallen back asleep. Danny changed into a pair of pyjamas and climbed into bed next to Nicholas, watching him sleep for a short while before drifting off to sleep.
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s:Danny/Nicholas, Andy
Word Count (chapter/total): 2,100
Rating: NC-17 for sofa sex
Summary/Warnings: Nicholas goes back to Danny's flat after a night of heavy drinking.
Warnings for dub-con
Nicholas Angel was not a heavy drinker. So, when he finally left the pub at closing time, nobody was surprised that he left in the company of Andy and Danny, an arm slung over either of their shoulders.
"Where's your car, Batterbomb?" Andy practically demanded, his arm wrapped tightly around the inspector's chest.
"At home," Danny answered simply. "Couldn't find my keys."
"Shit." This was a problem, because Nicholas had taken up residence in a cottage that was easily two miles from the pub. "He ain't sleeping on my sofa."
Danny hefted Nicholas up slightly, making sure he didn't suddenly collapse onto the cobblestone street. "You're such a prick," he said. "You just live round the corner."
"Don't care."
Danny sighed. "Come on, then."
Nicholas was conscious much in the same way that a football is black; that is to say, only bits of him were aware of what was going on, and even then, only just. "What?" he asked, seeming to direct it at nothing in particular.
"You're going home with me," Danny explained as the three of them stumbled and tripped down the street.
"Oh."
They carefully made their way to Danny's flat with minimal fuss, and Nicholas only managed to completely stumble over once, which both Andy and Danny saw as a triumph. After some careful negotiation of steps and wrestling with hidden keys, they dropped Nicholas onto the sofa, where he seemed to immediately fall asleep.
"Fucker's heavier than he looks," Andy panted, picking up a nearby magazine and fanning himself with it. A few moments later, he looked at the cover, jumped slightly, and threw the magazine back down. "Have fun with Inspector Arsewipe," he said as he quickly made his way to the door. "Told my dad I'd help him in the orchard tomorrow."
Danny grinned wickedly. "You still waiting for Andy's wife to officially leave him before finally moving in, then?"
A stray show flew through the air, missing Danny and bouncing off the back of the sofa. "Fuck off, bender," Andy hissed, before leaving the flat, making sure to slam the door behind him.
Shaking his head, Danny retrieved the shoe and returned it to its home before settling down on the sofa. He'd be damned if having someone passed out in his front room would keep him from finishing off his ritual of pub, get pissed, and come home and watch a DVD. "You're such a fucking lightweight," he said, moving Nicholas' legs out of his way.
"Piss off," Nicholas mumbled.
Danny looked at him for a moment. Maybe he wasn't as passed out as he seemed. Danny poked his stomach lightly, but the inspector didn't so much as flinch. Okay, maybe he was passed out. For a moment, he contemplated rolling Nicholas onto his side, or something, but he couldn't remember if that was what you did to drunk people in case they got sick, or if doing that to drunk people made them sick. He watched Nicholas for a few minutes, just to make sure he didn't get sick, and then pushed play on his remote, cueing up the DVD that he'd set before going to the pub. It was another Guy Ritchie project, and had Jason Statham in it, so his expectations were fairly high. It didn't take long for him to wish Nicholas wasn't pretending to be a college student, because there were a lot of questions he wanted to ask. Questions like, "where are all the explosions?" and, "where are the car chases?" and, "why the buggering hell do they keep playing chess and talking about head games?" At least there were gun fights. And a crazy hit man. But far too many geeky things like chess.
Nicholas probably played chess. Fucking geek.
Bored with the ten-minute chess scene, Danny turned his attention back to Nicholas, surprised to see his hand down the front of his own trousers. It wasn't the innocent kind, where he'd moved a bit in his sleep, and his fingers had slipped beneath the waist band. His entire hand had found its way down the front of his trousers. The bit of wrist movement going on was enough to cement the fact that Nicholas was up to something you generally don't do in public.
Danny turned his attention away. He contemplated waking Nicholas; letting him know what he was doing. But it wasn't like he was doing anything wrong. Everybody did it. Well, most everybody. Unless you're one of those religious fanatics, or asexual. Danny had always thought that one had to be a slug or something to be asexual, but the Andys seemed positive that Nicholas didn't even know about the concept of sex.
The hand down his trousers was doing a fantastic job of proving them wrong.
He was watching again. Stop it. Letting out a small whine, Danny bit his knuckle and forced himself to pay attention to Revolver. And so he paid attention.
For about six seconds.
Nicholas had broken his concentration with a low whine of his own, his hips twisting slightly as his belt impeded any progress he might have been trying to make. Biting his lip, Danny shifted his gaze back and forth between Nicholas and the television. It was clear what he was trying to do, and equally clear that his trousers were in the way.
There was nothing wrong with helping out. Just so long as he didn't actually touch.
Danny leant over and carefully unbuckled Nicholas' belt. Of course, the damn belt seemed to be just for decoration, as his trousers were probably tailored to begin with. Being very careful not to actually touch any part of Nicholas, Danny slowly unbuttoned and unzipped Nicholas' trousers, allowing the inspector better access.
"Mmm, Danny," Nicholas mumbled quietly.
Danny froze. Was he caught? It didn't seem so, as Nicholas just seemed interested in stroking himself from within his very boring boxer shorts. With Danny's hands still on the zip, Nicholas shifted slightly, and opened his eyes. Not all the way -- he hadn't been able to manage that since around ten o'clock -- but enough to be awake.
Definitely caught. Danny would be the disgrace of what was left of his family. This was it. Nicholas was going to pitch a fit. He braced himself for it.
"Hey," Nicholas said sleepily.
"Hi," was all Danny could say without choking, and he barely managed that.
Nicholas shifted slightly, still stroking himself. He looked down momentarily, before returning his still very innebriated gaze to Danny. "Little help?"
Danny licked his lips as he thought about the current situation. It didn't take him very long at all to reason that Nicholas was now awake -- most likely. Sometimes, you never could be completely sure -- he had asked for it. He moved his hand up Nicholas' exposed thigh, fingers trailing up his boxers. Nicholas smiled and rested his head back as he stroked himself, eventually letting Danny take over. The angle was awkward, and hampered wrist movement, so Danny decided to take a more direct approach, and stopped long enough to pull Nicholas' boxers off. Nicholas reached his arms above his head to grip the cushion, his hips arching into Danny's motions.
Confident that this was what Nicholas wanted, Danny moved himself to a position where he was on top of Nicholas, supporting his weight with his free hand. Nicholas arched himself into Danny's grip again, griding his hips against Danny's. Encouraged, Danny brought himself closer to Nicholas, locking him in a deep kiss, exploring the mouth he'd never even considered was a possibility that he'd be able to have. Nicholas responded unexpectantly, hands moving clumsily to pull off Danny's shirt.
Danny broke away, drawing a confused whine from Nicholas. "Roll over," he said, lightly slapping Nicholas' bare thigh. "C'mon."
Nicholas barely took a moment to consider the request. He did as told, rolling over to his hands and knees, letting Danny guide him to the arm of the sofa. Once getting Nicholas situated properly, Danny rushed to remove his own trousers, dropping them to the floor. He reached under the sofa for the small box he kept there for just these sorts of occasions, quickly fishing a condom from the collection, and tearing the foil with his teeth. Nicholas looked over his shoulder and laughed.
"You're not gonna get me pregnant," he pointed out.
Danny shook his head as he rolled the condom over his cock. "Doesn't matter," he said.
Nicholas shrugged awkwardly before resuming his original position, bent over the arm of the sofa. Danny put his fingers in his mouth before moving them in small circles around Nicholas' opening, slowly sliding first his middle finger in, and then his index. Neatly manicured nails dug into the upholstery as Danny fingered him with slow, steady movements. He ran his free hand down Nicholas' thigh, fingers brushing through fine gingery-blond hair. Bending over to lightly kiss the back of Nicholas' neck, Danny slowly guided himself in, starting with small pumping motions until he was completely sheathed. Nicholas cried out loudly, surprised when Danny cupped a hand over his mouth.
"Quiet," he laughed. "Neighbours upstairs are asleep."
Laughing, himself, Nicholas nodded and opted to instead bite down on the arm of the sofa as Danny began thrusting, bare skin rubbing and slamming together. He reached round, feeling blindly for Nicholas' cock and began stroking, out of time with his own thrusts. He'd never managed to be able to do it properly, but Nicholas didn't seem to mind. He bit down harder on the sofa arm, muffling his own cries in the fabric as his fingernails threathened to tear into it.
Danny had never expected this was something he'd be able to have, and now that he had it, he was amazed at how easily it had been given to him. He rolled his head back, biting his lip to keep from waking the neighbours, himself, breaking his rhythm to reposition himself on the sofa. His foot planted firmly on the ground, he continued his thrusts, as his hand stroked and rubbed Nicholas' cock, his thumb running over the tip, drawing more muffled cries from Nicholas.
"God, don't stop!" Nicholas pleaded, momentarily forgetting about the neighbours as he began rocking in time with Danny.
Danny bit his lip as he quickened his pace, stroking Nicholas even faster. The blond man beneath him began bucking uncontrollably, his face buried in the sofa. His noises became just that -- unintelligible noises that he simply could no longer hold in as he spilled his fluids over Danny's hand.
Making small noises of his own, Danny gripped Nicholas' hips with both hands, slamming harder into him. He gripped tightly, knowing how to keep hold without causing bruises, as he arched his back, climaxing hard, feeling light headed and dizzy in a way he didn't feel nearly often enough. Panting heavily, he separated from Nicholas, again rubbing his fingers down the exposed skin of his thigh. Nicholas still gripped the arm of the sofa, barely moving.
"You tired?" Danny asked, peeling the condom off and getting up to toss it in the small bin by the front door.
Nicholas, still not moved from his position, simply nodded into the arm of the sofa.
Danny smiled lightly as he bent to pick up the discarded clothes. "Come on," he said. "Bedroom's in back."
Nicholas nodded again, but still did not move. Danny helped him back into his trousers, and helped him back to the bedroom, setting him safely on the bed. He intended on giving him a pair of pyjamas, but by the time he turned back round from his wardrobe, Nicholas had already fallen back asleep. Danny changed into a pair of pyjamas and climbed into bed next to Nicholas, watching him sleep for a short while before drifting off to sleep.